{"id":2297,"date":"2024-11-08T11:50:01","date_gmt":"2024-11-08T17:50:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/2024\/11\/10\/after-their-son-came-out-this-conservative-christian-couple-went-into-a-closet-of-their-own-cnn\/"},"modified":"2024-11-10T11:51:08","modified_gmt":"2024-11-10T17:51:08","slug":"after-their-son-came-out-this-conservative-christian-couple-went-into-a-closet-of-their-own-cnn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/2024\/11\/08\/after-their-son-came-out-this-conservative-christian-couple-went-into-a-closet-of-their-own-cnn\/","title":{"rendered":"After their son came out, this conservative Christian couple went into a closet of their own | CNN"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Heartfelt story…how would you respond if your son came “out?”<\/p>\n

Our prayer is that you would be loving and kind to all, unashamed of the gospel and speaking the truth in love.<\/p>\n

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\"AfterAs soon as Greg McDonald Jr. saw his parents, he knew he was in trouble. His father stood waiting for him with his arms folded and his brow furrowed. Beside him was Greg\u2019s mother, her eyes red and puffy. \u201cQuick, pretend you\u2019re interested in me,\u201d Greg Jr. told his friend Betsy as he steered the speedboat toward the dock at his parents\u2019 riverfront home outside Grand Rapids, Michigan. Greg Jr. had just taken a group of friends out for a rollicking boat ride. It was late in the summer of 2001, and he was about to head off to his first year of college. In just a few weeks the 17-year-old thought he\u2019d be free. But while Greg Jr. was away his father, a conservative Christian, had checked his computer\u2019s search history. He\u2019d heard stories of young men being corrupted by the internet and had discovered his son\u2019s secret: visits to gay porn sites. As Greg Jr. stepped off the boat with his friends, his father looked sternly at the group. \u201cYou need to leave,\u201d he said to the other teens. Once they were alone, the father turned toward his son. \u201cAre you\u2014?\u201d he asked. \u201cYes, I am,\u201d Greg Jr. said, cutting his father off as he walked past his parents toward their house. \u201cYou could be an axe murderer, and we would always love you,\u201d his father called out after him. \u201cBut we need to get you fixed.\u201d<\/p>\n

You may think you know what happened next. Greg Jr. prayed to God for deliverance. Pastors condemned him. Church members shunned him. Longtime friends disappeared, and he wrestled with shame because he felt like he had failed God and disobeyed the Bible. But that\u2019s not what happened to Greg Jr. That\u2019s what happened to his parents, Greg Sr. and Lynn McDonald. Their son\u2019s admission would send the McDonalds on a journey that forced them to make agonizing choices about their faith and family. They would be thrust into the middle of a hidden crisis afflicting the conservative Christian community. And how they responded to their son\u2019s admission would mushroom into a scandal \u2014 one that prompted two of the most prominent evangelical pastors in America to publicly question each other\u2019s faith. What triggered all these events was one fateful decision: After their son came out, the McDonalds went into their own closet.<\/p>\n

A hidden crisis among conservative Christian families<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re seeking a model of a contemporary, conservative Christian couple, Greg and Lynn McDonald would seem right out of central casting. Warm and photogenic, they sprinkle their conversation with biblical quotations and self-deprecating humor. The McDonalds live in a gated community along the banks of the Chattahoochee River, some 25 miles outside of Atlanta. Their neighborhood looks like a real estate brochure, with rows of large, uniform houses, spotless sidewalks and American flags flying from front porches. Their living room reflects their faith and love of family. A towering bookcase is lined with titles such as \u201cGod Sex and Your Child,\u201d Rob Bell\u2019s \u201cWhat Is the Bible?\u201d and Charles Swindoll\u2019s \u201cGetting Through the Tough Stuff.\u201d Seven family photos adorn the wall. One of them is a portrait of their son, Greg Jr., around the time his parents confronted him about his secret.<\/p>\n

Lynn, 65, steps to the wall and adjusts one of the photo frames. \u201cI can\u2019t think clearly if things aren\u2019t straight,\u201d she says with a sheepish smile. \u201cI like things in order.\u201d Greg Sr. is a solidly built man with a firm handshake who talks and moves with an air of crisp authority. He was an entrepreneur and a food broker, a person who sells food products to buyers. He retired at 47. \u201cI\u2019m a fixer, a problem solver,\u201d says Greg Sr., now 67. \u201cWhenever there was a problem in business, they said, \u2018Send McDonald.\u2019 \u201c<\/p>\n

For some people, the McDonalds\u2019 story may seem baffling. Having a gay child is no longer considered a problem that needs fixing. The Supreme Court established same-sex marriage as a fundamental right in its 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision. LGBTQ+ people are out in the workplace, hold hands in Ikea commercials and openly raise children. Most mainline Christian denominations affirm gay and lesbian people. But there are millions of conservative Christians in the US who still do not accept what some call the \u201chomosexual agenda.\u201d They say normalizing LGBTQ+ relationships represents a threat to the American family and religious liberty. And their perspective is gaining political momentum. A record number of anti-LGBTQ+ bills were introduced across the US in 2023. This backlash against LGBTQ+ acceptance has led to a crisis in the conservative religious community. An estimated 40% of the nation\u2019s youth experiencing homelessness identity as LGBTQ. Many of these youths are being cast out by conservative religious families. Some parents shun their gay children when they can\u2019t change them. The harm that many LGBTQ kids suffer after being rejected by conservative religious families is widespread but barely acknowledged or addressed in conservative Christian communities, religious activists and LGBTQ+ youth advocates tell CNN.<\/p>\n

Greg Jr. says he didn\u2019t tell his parents about his sexuality earlier because he\u2019d heard stories of evangelical parents who refused to pay for their gay kid\u2019s college or kicked them out of the house. Once on the streets, these forsaken youths are more likely to experience sexual assault, HIV infection, hate crimes, depression and suicide, according to True Colors United, a nonprofit group formed to address youth homelessness in the US. The current share of homeless youth who are LGBTQ+ is likely larger than the 40% estimate because many of them end up surfing on the couches of friends or avoiding places where homeless adults gather because they\u2019re afraid of being harmed, says Kahlib Barton, chief program officer with True Colors United. Many LGBTQ+ youth tend to travel together, living in abandoned buildings and under freeway overpasses and often engaging in sex work for survival, Barton says. Virtually none of them go to the church for help. \u201cMost youth don\u2019t feel comfortable going to a church because they\u2019re either forced to engage in religious practices they don\u2019t agree with or their sexual identity is not appropriately respected,\u201d Barton says. Greg Sr. didn\u2019t know any of those stories when he told his son that he had to be \u201cfixed.\u201d He made that declaration 23 years ago, but he still winces at the memory. \u201cBoy, how I wish I could reel those words back,\u201d he says. \u201cAnd I can\u2019t. We literally chased Greg Jr. away. Once those words leave your lips, it\u2019s like eating shoe leather. It\u2019s hard to recover from that.\u201d Their son, though, knew what awaited his parents before they did. When they enlisted the church to \u201cfix\u201d him, he would say something to them that would prove prophetic: \u201cThere is no hate like Christian love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2018Peer pressure will sort him out\u2019<\/p>\n

The McDonalds didn\u2019t think there was anything hateful about how they raised their son and his older sister, Connie. They wanted them to have the stability they never had as children. They raised the two children in a conservative Christian cocoon: church every Sunday, mid-week Bible study, Christian private schools; Christian contemporary music tuned 24\/7 on the car radio. They saw signs early on that their son might be gay. They say they were tipped off by his body language and what Greg Sr. describes as his son\u2019s \u201ctender-hearted\u201d personality. They quietly took steps to address the issue. \u201cIf a show came on TV, and it was \u2018Will & Grace\u2019 or if there was touching between two men, I\u2019d grab the remote and turn to another show,\u201d Greg Sr. says. When Greg Jr. was still a boy, the McDonalds shared their concerns with a Christian counselor. He\u2019ll be fine, the counselor assured them. \u201cPeer pressure will sort him out,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Greg Jr. was learning about hate at his Christian schools. He was bullied by classmates who hurled gay slurs at him. Teachers denounced homosexuality in classroom diatribes while looking directly at him. There were others who treated him with compassion, including art teachers who sensed his secret. He came out to several high school friends who made him feel accepted. Even so, Greg Jr. learned to be quiet and blend in. That impulse was so ingrained that just before his parents confronted him after that speedboat ride, he still pretended to be straight by asking his friend, Betsy, to feign attraction to him. \u201cIt was about being perfect all the time and not doing anything to stand out as deviant, or outside the norm,\u201d he would say later. \u201cYou try not to be noticed.\u201d<\/p>\n

After their son came out to them, the McDonalds relied on the church to apply another form of peer pressure. They sent their son to youth counselors and pastors. They persuaded him to try Christian \u201cconversion therapy,\u201d a widely discredited practice of trying to change a person\u2019s sexual orientation through methods such as intensive prayer, aversion conditioning, and in extreme cases, exorcism. Greg Jr. went to one meeting and refused to return. \u201cWe didn\u2019t realize the harm we were doing,\u201d Lynn says. \u201cWhen you find out your child is gay in that environment, it\u2019s overwhelming. I hate to say it, but I was also looking at myself. I was thinking, \u2018This is disruptive. What is my life going to look like now? \u2019 \u2019\u2019<\/p>\n

Several months after their confrontation with their son, the McDonalds told their pastor and a select group of close friends. It took about two years for Greg Sr. to tell select business partners and co-workers. Some stopped talking to them. Others assured the McDonalds they would pray for their son\u2019s deliverance from homosexuality. One told Greg Sr., \u201cYou gotta get a handle on your son.\u201d Still, Greg Jr. refused to be \u201cfixed.\u201d A Christian counselor once asked him, \u201cDon\u2019t you want to go to heaven?\u201d \u201cNot if you\u2019re there,\u201d Greg Jr. said. \u2018I felt I had to choose between loving God and loving my child\u2019<\/p>\n

By this time Greg Jr. had moved away to attend DePaul University in Chicago. He and his parents barely spoke. He rebuffed their attempts to cite scripture. Their occasional visits were so strained that their son avoided being alone with them and surrounded himself with friends. The tension filtered into the McDonalds\u2019 marriage. They blamed one another. \u201cYou should have taken him on more fishing trips\u2014\u201d \u201cWhose idea was it to let him take those art classes?\u201d \u201cWell, you didn\u2019t play baseball with him enough\u2026\u201d They followed leaders like the author and psychologist James Dobson, founder of \u201cFocus on the Family.\u201d Dobson has ascribed homosexuality to such external factors as a domineering mother, an emotionally abusive father and being sexually molested as a child \u2014 beliefs that have been debunked by many scientific researchers. \u201cWe were Focus on the Family groupies,\u201d Greg Sr. says. \u201cWe drank from the fire hose. If they published it, printed it or did a video, we owned it.\u201d Lynn McDonald says says her reaction to her son\u2019s disclosure was also shaped by another source: the Old Testament story in which God demanded that Abraham sacrifice his son Isaac to prove his faith. \u201cI felt I had to choose between loving God and loving my child,\u201d she says. Her words may seem melodramatic, but not if you know her background. She grew up in a family where relatives struggled with mental illness and alcoholism. She married Greg Sr. when they were right out of high school. Both now say they were too young and immature. It took 12 years of counseling and prayer to preserve their marriage. What saved her through it all? She says it was following the words in the Bible. \u201cMy safe spot was the church,\u201d she says. \u201cThere were parameters. If you followed them, nothing harmful will happen to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

But in the evangelical world, that safe spot came with a price. The McDonalds felt tremendous pressure to hide having a gay child. Not long after their son told them he was gay, they asked their minister if he could put them in touch with other parents of LGBTQ+ children in their congregation. He couldn\u2019t. He didn\u2019t know a single family in a congregation of about 5,000 people who were willing to talk about having a gay child. The McDonalds joined this silence. They shared their son\u2019s sexual orientation with a select group of friends and church members, but otherwise kept a tight lid on their family struggles. They worried about being disowned by friends, relatives, their church and their employers. \u201cThere\u2019s the fear about my reputation and my family\u2019s reputation,\u201d Greg Sr. says. \u201cYou have to keep this image just so.\u201d<\/p>\n

One night, the pressures of maintaining that image threatened to overwhelm Greg Sr. He was driving home, mired in depression. He felt like a failure as a father. He spotted a bridge in front of him. As he drew closer, he accelerated. He aimed his car at the bridge\u2019s concrete abutment. The slapping of his tires on the highway grew louder as he sped toward the bridge. \u201cAs I got closer, I just decided that\u2019s it,\u201d he says. But at the last second, he jerked the wheel and turned away from the bridge. He pulled off the highway and sat in his car, shaking. He then called his doctor to get a prescription for anti-depressants.<\/p>\n

A conservative Christian walks into a gay bar<\/p>\n

Not long after, Lynn was shaken by her own brush with mortality \u2014one that led to a different result. She and Greg Sr. had remained closeted for more than a decade, struggling with shame, after they learned their son\u2019s secret. But in 2013, she faced another battle: She was diagnosed with breast cancer. \u201cI had to put on my big girl pants and get through this,\u201d Lynn says. What followed was months of chemotherapy, multiple surgeries and her hair falling out in clumps. She spent much of her time in bed and barely had enough energy to move. Her husband stood by her, but another person soon appeared at her bedside: Greg Jr. Their son was now 29 and living in Chicago after attending DePaul and the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City. At Greg Jr.\u2019s invitation, his parents moved briefly into his Chicago condo. He washed his mother\u2019s laundry and tucked her in at night. He took her shopping and purchased stylish caps and scarves to cover her hair loss. Lynn began thinking of the years she had spent raising her son in a home where he was afraid to be himself. The years she spent quoting scriptures at him that condemned his homosexuality. But here he was, showing her compassion. Instead of anger, he was embodying Christ\u2019s example \u2014 loving those who had scorned him. She lost her zest to preach at him. \u201cI saw my life flash before my eyes,\u201d Lynn says. \u201cI didn\u2019t know how many days I was going to have on Earth to even be with my son. It wasn\u2019t about changing him. It was about loving him and trying to make up for the years that I did lose with him when he was raised in our home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Around the same time, Greg Jr. reached out to his father in a different way. One night he asked his dad, \u201cWanna get a drink?\u201d He took his father to a bar in Chicago called The Closet. It was, of course, a gay bar. As Greg Sr. walked inside, he caught himself thinking: Gosh, if my conservative friends could see me now . His son introduced him to the bartender. Her name was Karen, but his son described her as his \u201cmomma bear.\u201d She was the one who steered him away from guys who meant trouble and helped him with his college homework by holding up flash cards at the bar. Karen was a lesbian, but that didn\u2019t matter to Greg Sr. She loved and protected his son. He felt his attitudes shift. \u201cThe reality is that I didn\u2019t care anymore what my friends and co-workers thought,\u201d he says. \u201cI was far more concerned about my son and having a relationship with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lynn\u2019s cancer went into remission. And a dozen years after that riverside confrontation, the McDonalds\u2019 relationship with their son also started to heal. But they still had to square this with their faith. They didn\u2019t know how to answer this question: Can you still love God, the Bible and your gay son? The search for that answer would lead Greg Sr. to an unexpected friendship. For Lynn, it would end one. \u2018The Bible was not as black and white as I once thought\u2019 To reconcile his son\u2019s sexuality with his Christian views, Greg Sr. entered another arena that for evangelicals was as taboo as a gay bar: He started reading books and listening to sermons from religious and LGBTQ+ scholars who challenged his views on homosexuality. He came across a YouTube video of the man delivering a lecture at a New Zealand church. His name was David Gushee, one of the leading Christian ethicists in the US. Gushee had White evangelical Christian roots. He became a born-again Christian in high school and later a Baptist minister. He, too, once believed that there could be no moral acceptance of gay and lesbian relationships. A family crisis prompted the shift in his views. Gushee learned that his younger sister, Katey, had been hospitalized with depression, including one stay after a suicide attempt. She had struggled to accept her sexual identity as a lesbian before finally coming out. Gushee started reexamining scriptures and the formation of the Bible. He talked to other LGBTQ+ people who grew up in the church but left. He heard horror stories about religious parents casting their kids onto the streets, where many fall prey to drug use and sexual predators. Gushee took a stand. He urged for the full inclusion of LGBTQ+ people in the church. He rejected the \u201cwelcoming but not affirming\u201d approach that many churches attempt to avoid demonizing LGBTQ+ people and alienating traditional conservatives. \u201cThey ultimately fail to include LGBTQ+ people in the Christian community on equal terms with everyone else, while doing continued spiritual, psychological, familial, and ecclesial harm,\u201d Gushee wrote in his book, \u201cChanging Our Mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

By this time the McDonalds had moved to Georgia, where Gushee lived and taught at a university. Greg Sr. was so taken by Gushee\u2019s book that he wrote a letter to him and invited him to lunch. The two men met and became friends. \u201cDavid\u2019s book helped open my mind, not change my mind,\u201d Greg Sr. says. \u201cI began to realize that the Bible was not as black and white as I once thought.\u201d Greg Sr.\u2019s solution to his theological questions was to focus on another color in the Bible \u2014 the red letters in the New Testament that are attributed to Jesus. And he came to a conclusion: A Christian parent can love their LGBTQ child not in spite of their faith, but because of it. \u201cThere are things in the Bible that may or may not make sense, but what you can be assured of is that Jesus says to love our neighbors as ourselves, and that includes our children, straight or gay,\u201d he said. Greg Sr. also says he realized something else. \u201cIt was as much of a choice for Greg Jr. to be gay as it was for me to have brown hair.\u201d<\/p>\n

The McDonalds lose some old friends \u2014 and make new ones<\/p>\n

Twelve years after they confronted their son about his homosexuality, the McDonalds started sharing their story with anyone who would listen. \u201cOnce we stepped out of the closet, our phone started ringing,\u201d Greg Sr. says. They met Christian parents who shared their struggles. A community was formed. And in 2015, they formed a support group for Christian parents with LGBTQ children called \u201cEmbracing the Journey\u201d \u2014 the signature line Greg used in his emails while his wife fought breast cancer. They filed articles of incorporation one month before Lynn\u2019s last major surgery. In doing so they met new people and lost some old friends. Lynn had befriended several women in a home Bible study group, where her ministry never came up in the discussion. One day she finally asked her friends what they thought about it. One woman said she didn\u2019t like to think about the religious debate over homosexuality because the subject was \u201chorrible\u201d and \u201cfull of pain.\u201d She told Lynn she had a nephew who was gay and that she thought homosexuality was \u201cdisgusting.\u201d \u201cAnd she just went on about how awful it must be to do this ministry, and I\u2019m thinking, \u2018That\u2019s my life she\u2019s talking about,\u2019\u2019\u2019 Lynn says. Lynn says her friendship with the woman ended after that Bible study. She never met with that group again.<\/p>\n

There were others, though, who affirmed the McDonalds\u2019 ministry. One of them was David Quinones. He was a lay leader in the Episcopal Church when it started to split in 2003 over the ordination of a gay bishop. Quinones opposed the ordination. One night, Quinones and his wife, Deb, received a call from the hospital. It was their son, Josh, then a senior in college. He told them he had attempted suicide because he was tormented over being bisexual (he was scared at the time to tell them he was gay). \u201cHe was afraid we weren\u2019t going to love him anymore and that we would reject him,\u201d Quinones says. Quinones says he and his wife also reacted with shame and secrecy after their son\u2019s admission. That changed after they attended an \u201cEmbracing the Journey\u201d session and met other parents who shared their struggle. Many of those meetings ended in tears. The Quinoneses have since joined the McDonalds\u2019 ministry. \u201cWhat we needed was to be able to talk to other people who were struggling,\u201d David Quinones says. \u201cThere\u2019s this false narrative out there: Either I love my gay child, or I love God.\u201d<\/p>\n

That narrative, though, still holds tremendous power in the evangelical world. That\u2019s what the McDonalds discovered when they got swept up in a controversy over something they did for their son. What happened, Greg Sr. says, would \u201cbreak my heart.\u201d A \u2018Satan-drenched theology\u2019 comes under attack It was called the \u201cUnconditional Conference,\u201d and was scheduled for September 2023 at North Point Community Church in suburban Atlanta. Led by Andy Stanley, North Point is one of the largest evangelical churches in America. The McDonalds had joined North Point during the same year they moved to Georgia. The McDonalds organized the conference with \u201cEmbracing The Journey\u201d volunteers, and Stanley agreed to host it. The two-day event was promoted with a tagline: \u201cIn a world that makes us choose sides, experience a conference from the quieter middle.\u201d But what happened after the conference was announced was anything but quiet. Critics pounced. One said the conference promoted \u201cSatan-drenched theology.\u201d Others said the McDonalds had become part of a campaign to shift traditional views on marriage and sexuality. Social media fanned the flames. One of the conference\u2019s most prominent critics was the Rev. R. Albert Mohler, an author, podcaster and president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Mohler wrote a column arguing the McDonalds\u2019 conference was designed as a platform \u201cfor normalizing the LGBTQ+ revolution.\u201d He wrote that \u201cin truth, there is no \u2018middle space\u2019\u201d on homosexuality because all \u201csame-sex sexual behaviors\u201d are clearly forbidden by the Bible. He then took aim at Stanley, saying that his decision to allow the conference to be held at North Point was proof that the pastor was inching away from \u201chistoric normative Biblical Christianity.\u201d \u201cSadly, it looks like the train is about to leave the station,\u201d Mohler wrote.<\/p>\n

Not long after Mohler\u2019s column appeared, Stanley stepped before his congregation on a Sunday morning and did something he\u2019d had never done before: devote an entire sermon to directly responding to his critics outside his church. Stanley addressed Mohler near the beginning of his sermon. \u201cI want to go on record and say I have never subscribed to his version of biblical Christianity to begin with, so I\u2019m not leaving anything,\u201d he said. Stanley then proceeded to defend the conference, and the McDonalds. He said North Point wasn\u2019t backtracking on its belief that biblical marriage is between a man and woman. But he argued that evangelicals must deal with what was happening to LGBTQ+ children in their churches because \u201c86%\u201d of LGBTQ+ people in the US grow up in church, \u201cbut they leave at twice the rate of straight people.\u201d Stanley cited the McDonalds\u2019 relationship with their son, and the isolation faced by many LGBTQ+ youth in the evangelical world. He also distanced his church from Mohler\u2019s brand of Christianity. \u201cBottom line, that version of Christianity draws lines. And Jesus drew circles,\u201d Stanley said. \u201cHe drew circles so large and included so many people in his circle that it consistently made religious leaders nervous.\u201d While Stanley faced criticism from evangelicals, others would say he didn\u2019t go far enough. They say a pastor should affirm, not accept, their gay members. But it\u2019s what Stanley did before the sermon, though, that spoke just as loudly. Greg Jr. had traveled to North Point\u2019s sprawling campus before that Sunday to help his parents plan the conference. It was the first time he had set foot in a church in years. During one planning session, Stanley came by to greet the conference organizers. When he spotted Greg Jr., he dropped his backpack, walked up to him and gave him a hug. Lynn McDonald looked on in amazement. Tears welled in her eyes. \u201cIt was a healing moment, to see Andy love on my son,\u201d she says. \u201cGreg Jr. was finally being seen and heard.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stung by a deluge of public criticism, the McDonalds could have used a hug as well. For the first time, they were facing an army of anonymous Christian commentators trying to \u201cfix\u201d them. They wondered if they had inadvertently dragged their pastor into a no-win situation. \u201cIt broke my heart,\u201d Greg McDonald Sr. says today about Stanley\u2019s sermon. \u201cThat he (Stanley) felt the need to do that to help his congregation understand why he would allow a conference to come to his church. There are plenty of LGBTQ+ people in churches, whether their pastors know it or not.\u201d Why did the McDonalds attract such withering criticism? The debate over homosexuality in the church is not new. Why was their public support for their son and other families like theirs so infuriating to many conservative Christians? Gushee, the Christian ethicist, has a theory. \u201cThey chose love over dogma,\u201d he says. \u201cThe whole premise of their ministry is, \u2018We\u2019re not trying to tell you how to interpret scripture. But the bottom line is, love your child, stay in a relationship with them and go on the journey with them.\u2019\u201d The McDonalds find a new family One might say Greg McDonald Sr. stood up to all the criticism because of his faith, but there is another reason. He was bullied as a child because he had dyslexia. He failed the fourth and eighth grade. Some kids called him \u201cretard\u201d and teased him for riding on the \u201cshort bus,\u201d a miniature school bus used to transport kids with physical and mental disabilities. He hates seeing LGBTQ+ youth bullied. \u201cWhen I see someone being harassed and they can\u2019t really fend for themselves, it makes the hair on my neck stand on end,\u201d he says. \u201cEspecially when they\u2019re bullied in the name of God.\u201d<\/p>\n

The McDonalds now have plenty of company on their journey. A year after the conference, they say their ministry has a team of 91 volunteers who offer support to families in England, South Africa, Australia, Ethiopia and other countries. They\u2019ve written a self-help guide for parents of LGBTQ+ children called \u201cEmbracing the Journey,\u201d and they speak at churches and conferences. \u201cThe need is immense,\u201d Greg Sr. says. \u201cIt just keeps growing. We wouldn\u2019t be doing this if the church was already doing this. There are a lot of churches that are starting to do this, and we applaud them for that. But we need more churches entering in this conversation.\u201d The McDonalds have earned new nicknames within some parts of the LGBTQ+ community. They\u2019ve been dubbed \u201cMcMom\u201d and \u201cMcDad\u201d by an assortment of LGBTQ+ children who have adopted them as surrogate parents after being rejected by their own families. One of them is Patrick Potulski, who met the McDonalds through their son. Potulski was 21 when he says he fell out with his parents over his homosexuality. His parents are immigrants from Poland, a heavily Catholic country where homosexuality is still stigmatized. He says the McDonalds invited him over to stay on weekends. They cooked dinner for him, played board games and watched movies with him. His parents eventually accepted him, but he says he won\u2019t forget the McDonalds\u2019 kindness. \u201cThey were always so welcoming and accepting,\u201d Potulski says. \u201cAlways offering a hug when I needed one.\u201d<\/p>\n

And Greg Jr.? He\u2019s now a 40-year-old man with a thick mustache and a cheerfully blunt manner. An interior designer, he lives in Georgia and helps his parents with their ministry. He no longer attends church, but he says he still considers himself a follower of Jesus. When asked what advice he would share with Christian parents with gay children, he says: \u201cTell your kids you love them, teach them to be kind, let them be weirdos and let them fly their freak flag,\u201d he says. He then adds: \u201cAnd don\u2019t be an a**hole.\u201d Greg Jr. is a stoic man, but his pride in his parents\u2019 ministry is evident. \u201cMy mom is the heart and soul of the ministry \u2014 my dad is everything else,\u201d he says. In recent years the McDonalds have added another face to the wall of family portraits hanging in their immaculate living room. The largest photo shows Greg and Lynn with Greg Jr., and their daughter, along with her husband. Standing next to a beaming Greg Sr. is another person. He\u2019s a tall, clean-shaven man with a boyish face. His name is Jon, and he\u2019s Greg Jr.\u2019s husband. Greg Jr. and Jon were married in 2019. Jon has gone on vacations with the McDonalds and been to their house many times to cook meals and play board games. \u201cHe loves my family,\u201d Greg Jr. says. \u201cHe\u2019s like their son.\u201d The McDonalds attended their son\u2019s courthouse wedding. Lynn says it was \u201cpretty surreal\u201d to witness the ceremony. \u201cThere was aways a little glimmer of hope that maybe he\u2019d find a wonderful Christian girl and get married,\u201d she says. \u201cI was grieving when they said their vows. But I was also joyfully crying. I was grieving for my dream of what I wanted for my son, but also joyful that my son doesn\u2019t have to do life alone anymore and he found someone who cares and loves him.\u201d<\/p>\n

How people regard the McDonalds\u2019 journey may depend on their religious beliefs. Some say they have betrayed their faith. But the McDonalds say they\u2019re even more committed to their Christianity \u2014 a faith that they say draws circles instead of lines. The McDonald\u2019s days of shame and secrecy are over. The Christian cocoon they built to shield their son may have crumbled, but once they broke free from it, their family soared. After they discovered their son was gay, the McDonalds prayed to God that He would change him. Their prayers were answered, they say \u2014 just not in the way they expected. God changed them instead. John Blake is a CNN senior writer and author of \u202fthe award-winning memoir, \u201cMore Than I Imagined: What a Black Man Discovered About the White Mother He Never Knew.\u201d<\/p>\n

This content was originally published here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Heartfelt story…how would you respond if your son came “out?” Our prayer is that you would be loving and kind to all, unashamed of the gospel and speaking the truth in love. As soon as Greg McDonald Jr. saw his parents, he knew he was in trouble. His father stood waiting for him with his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2299,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-uncategorized","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8kHU7-B3","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/thelight.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/After-their-son-came-out-this-conservative-Christian-couple-went-into-a-closet-of-their-own-CNN.jpg?fit=800%2C533","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2297","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2297"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2297\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2300,"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2297\/revisions\/2300"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2297"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2297"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thelight.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}